Les Cauchemars
by Voltaire63
Summary: One-shot. One week after Gillies escapes in Last Train to Kingston.


Les Cauchemars

"Murdoch!" yelled the inspector. William jumped, jerking his head up from his desk. He had fallen asleep again. The little catnaps didn't seem to bother him but since Gillies escape William was incapable of getting through the night without nightmares plaguing him. With so little nighttime sleep he tended to fall asleep at his desk.

"What's the matter with you, Murdoch? You look like hell and seem exhausted. Are you moonlighting?" asked Brackenreid with a chuckle, knowing that surely was not the case.

"Sorry, sir. I guess I...I didn't sleep well last night."

"Last night! You've been like this for a week." And then it dawned on the inspector what had happened a week ago-Gillies had escaped or died trying, they didn't know, may never know for that matter. Brackenreid sat down across from Murdoch. "You're having nightmares aren't you, son?" he asked gently.

William looked down at his hands, but didn't answer.

"Have you talked to Dr. Ogden about this?" No answer. "You haven't have you?"

"No," he whispered.

"Bloody hell! Why not? She's probably the best person in the world to help you. She knows what happened."

"Not all of it, sir."

"Oh?"

"I'll be alright, sir. Just a little more time."

"That's not good enough, Murdoch. I want you to talk to Dr. Ogden. Today, tomorrow at the latest. Do you understand? This is not a request."

"Yes, sir."

"Now take the rest of the day off. You're knackered."

William looked up, questioningly.

"Knackered-tired-worn out, man!"

xxxxxxxxxx

But William didn't call Julia. He couldn't talk to her about it. He just could not bring himself to tell her how Gillies had gotten away from him. Instead he went home alone. It was early, but the inspector was right. He was exhausted. Maybe he could sleep tonight. This would be the end of his bad dreams at last. He undressed down to his underwear and sat on the edge of his bed. He hadn't eaten today, but then he hadn't been hungry. Now he contemplated sleep. If he could get just one night of sleep he knew he would be alright. Turning out the lamp he stretched out on his bed for a moment, then curled up on his side, closing his eyes. He was so tired he fell asleep within minutes.

_He's running down the railroad tracks. Ahead of him runs James Gillies. At first he seems to get no closer, but slowly he gains on him. Throwing himself at the fleeing figure he tackles Gillies and brings him down, pummeling him with his fist. When he stops Gillies grins at him in the way only Gillies can. "We share something, detective." Then Gillies pulls William to him and plants a kiss on his lips. William is taken aback and tries to pull away, but Gillies has a grip on him, until he pushes William away, hitting him in the face with both shackled hands, knocking him backwards. Then Gillies runs and jumps off the trestle, laughing his sick laugh and William finds himself standing there, looking down after him. He can't get away again. He can't. So William jumps after him, falling, falling, falling...until he wakes with a start. _

It was the same every night, a replay of those events from a week ago. William sat up, head in shaking hands. "I can't relive this every night. It's driving me crazy. And I know he's still out there, waiting for me, for Julia." Sweat dripped off him as he absently wiped his lips with the back of his hand. Rising from his bed he stole down the hall to the bathroom for a long soak in a hot bath. When he returned to his room he sat in a chair, looking out the window, waiting for sunrise. Five o'clock came, then six o'clock. When seven o'clock chimed he reached for the telephone and called Julia at home.

"Hello?" But for a moment there was no answer. "Hello. William, is it you?"

He swallowed. "How did you know?" he asked softly.

"I've been expecting your call. All week."

"Julia..." He could not continue, but he didn't need to with Julia.

"William, do you want to come here or shall I come there?"

"I'll come to you. Is now alright?"

"Yes. Now is fine."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was an hour by the time he dressed and pedaled to Julia's. He stood at the bottom of her front steps for minutes, staring at the door. Julia saw him through the window, but waited for him to make the decision to come in. At last his feet moved him up the steps and he knocked.

Not wanting him to know she had been watching him, she delayed answering the door for a few minutes. When she opened it William stood there looking miserable. Dark circles graced his beautiful eyes. He was pale and thin looking. She reached for his hand, pulling him inside and to her. Standing there he looked so lost, so tired. Her arms encircled him as she hugged him tightly to her. He felt tense and stiff at first but soon relaxed into her embrace.

He whispered in her ear, "I don't sleep anymore. I can't sleep without..."

"Without dreams," she finished for him. He nodded. "My dear, sweet William. What took you so long to come to me?"

"I don't know. Embarrassed, I guess."

"Oh, Love. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Let me help you."

She led him into the parlor, to the sofa.

At first she sat beside him on the couch. "I know what it's like to have dreams inspired by James Gillies. We can get you through this William."

She stroked his forehead and cheek. "Lie down here and get comfortable. I'll be right back." She returned shortly with a notebook and pencil.

"Alright now. Begin."

William started relating his dream until he got to the kiss, when he stopped.

"What happened next, William?"

He stuttered. "Then Gillies grabbed me and pulled me closer to him and he..." But William could not go on.

"What did he do, William? You need to say it."

"He...kissed me and I couldn't get away. I tried but he held on too tightly. Then he hit me in the face and ran to the trestle and jumped." He said all that in a rush.

"What did you think when he kissed you?"

"I was shocked."

"That's exactly what he wanted you to be, shocked. That's how he escaped. He threw you off balance. That's what he does to everyone. You're no different, William. You're human, he's not."

"It didn't mean anything?"

"Do you think it did?"

"No. Not to me."

"Nor to him either, I assure you. He just wanted to upset you."

"But he got away."

"I know. But maybe he's dead. The fall nearly killed you if the branches hadn't snagged you. Chances are very great that he did not survive."

"But we'll have to worry for the rest of our lives."

"Will we? Let's choose not to. You and I can do this together. Together we are stronger than he ever was."

"I worry for you."

"Don't. I don't. Not anymore. We have so much to look forward to together, you and I, William"

"Alright. If you can do this, then I guess so can I." She smiled at him, then leaned down and kissed him.

"If you have the dream again, just tell yourself that you aren't going to let him dictate how you live the rest of your life. I'll do that for you instead." And they both laughed at that. "Now just relax and see if you can sleep for a while. I'll be right here with you."

William closed his eyes as Julia rose. When she came back into the parlor with a blanket he was asleep. She sat in her chair reading as he slept quietly for hours. His face was peaceful and calm.

"I love you, William," she whispered to his unconscious form. He didn't hear her but she knew that he loved her too.


End file.
